yes I know the ways + means

I'm Almost Famous!

2008-07-22T23:54:00.002-05:00

The final showdown between Batman and Joker in Dark Knight was filmed at my condo building!!!

http://chicago.everyblock.com/the-dark-knight-film-locations/

This is the scene with the gunmen/hostages in the unfinished building. MY unfinished building ;o)

Maybe Christian Bale graced my floors! mmmmmm...

Kitties!

2008-07-17T13:50:00.004-05:00

Meet Jack and Charlie!

1.5 weeks to go!

2008-06-18T22:38:00.002-05:00

7 weekdays and one more weekend in Boston! It's a little surreal to start saying goodbye to people... I don't get extremely sentimental with goodbyes. I feel like if I'm meant to see someone again I will, and in this age if I want to get in touch with someone, I can (in one form or another). I don't think I'm going to be super sad leaving Boston. I've had 6 fantastic years here, but it's time for something new. Plus with my family in western Mass (and sister in Boston), I'm sure I'll be back plenty :o)

I don't know if anyone in Boston reads this blog, but I'm probably going to try and host disc golf next Thursday evening (complete with asshole at hole 0), and maybe some drinks on Friday night. I'll send emails.

Attention: You

2008-05-06T10:29:00.002-05:00

Hey You,

Wanna come to Nationals in Boulder, CO? Shuang's coming... you should too...

At some point a more detailed account of our Regionals victory will be shared

stupid knees

2008-05-01T11:14:00.001-05:00

In college, especially towards the end of the ultimate season when I was hobbling down stairs like an 85 year old woman, I'd jest that I'll probably have arthritis by the time I'm 25. Turns out: 24.

This doesn't necessarily mean I won't be playing lots more ultimate in my future, but it's sure as hell a good kick in the teeth.

Just buy a freaking bumper sticker...

2008-04-24T16:46:00.000-05:00

click

Sectionals

2008-04-23T14:49:00.002-05:00

If you want a full recap of Sectionals, look to Erika's and Karen's posts. I wanted to share my favorite story from the weekend, and some quick highlights.

On Day Two, we finished out pool play by beating Harvard. We then entered the 2nd place bracket with Wellesley as our first opponent. Winning this game would guarantee us a spot at regionals (loser would enter the battle for the 5th place spot), so we had a pretty constrained rotation. One person who didn't get PT this game was Natasha. I gave her the heads up early on in the game, and she understood. We did end up beating Wellesley solidly (though the score was fairly close).

For the next game, Natasha asked me whether she'd get to play, and I told her that it would depend on (a) what strategies we were playing and (b) how the first few points looked. She was not too thrilled at this point, which I completely understand. Well, we started to play some zone and put Natasha in as fresh legs for the cup. She came out HARD. Natasha reached a level of intensity and focus that I have not seen from her all year. She was right there on D and was making beautiful, focused cuts, clean catches, and smart throws. She proved how much she wanted to be out there, and it was so awesome.

I think this is going to open up a new chapter for her playing, and I'm super psyched.

Other highlights:
Anne, freshman, plays fantastic shut-down dump defense. In the Wellesley game she was guarding the same handler for a couple of points. The thrower would turn, the handler would make 1-2 cuts and be completely shut down, and then be looked off. Awesome.

Jenn, freshman, is really getting the hang of catching high ones. She had some sweet run-through-and-leap grabs on in cuts.

Veena can ALWAYS be counted on to make the first or bailout cut. and by ALWAYS I mean ALWAYS.

Amy, despite her knee problems, was completely solid behind the disc and in the stack. Building on last year, she's always where she needs to be and will always be there in those clutch moments.

I think Erika hit the best moments of our superstars. For my piece, I think our top players are far above the top players of any other team in the region. They are positively dominant, and carry the heart of this team.

Regionals, here we come!

I must be doing something right

2008-03-27T12:14:00.002-05:00

On Saturday, I found a 20 dollar bill on the street
Yesterday, I found a 5 dollar bill outside of the Z Center

It's nice to be paid for walking down the street, and to be able to end my stories on these days with "...and then I found 5 bucks"

Healthy Breakfast Cookies

2008-03-18T11:36:00.004-05:00

Many of you are familiar with my healthy cookies - brought along and gifted at many ultimate tournaments. I thought it might be time to share the magic. I recently started playing around with the recipe to add even more healthy goodness to the simple base. This version is my favorite so far:

(I usually double this. amounts are very flexible)

base:
3 ripe bananas, mashed or pureed (i like to mash it and leave some banana chunks)
1/3 cup apple sauce
2 cups oats (use about 1/2 cup less if adding cereal and seeds)

spicing (I don't really measure these... I just play around):
~1 tsp nutmeg
~1tsp cardamom
~1 tsp vanilla

additions:
1/4 cup honey
1/4 cup sunflower seeds
1/2 cup barley or multigrain cereal (like grapenuts or kashi)
a whole bunch of dried fruit (I usually go for cranberries)
chopped walnuts

Grease your pan/cookie sheet.
Bake 350 degree oven for about 20 minutes. Good in bar or cookie form. I've recently been putting them in muffin pans - it makes a nice sized lump. Note that these won't spread out or pouf up while baking - so make them the size and shape you want for a finished product.

Defense Wins Championships

2008-02-04T13:47:00.000-05:00

NY Giants take down Patriots

It's a lesson I learned freshman year on sMITe and will never forget it. As much as I wanted the Patriots to make history, the Giants were very impressive with how they shut down the "unstoppable" offense machine.

Oh, and screw little Eli Manning. My MVP trophy goes to the whole Giants defensive line.

Tosci's Seized for Not Paying Taxes

2008-01-23T09:15:00.001-05:00

Last week Tosci's in Central Square was seized for owing $167,000 in back taxes. The owner's excuse? "We got very disorganized and did not pay taxes for a period." One of the employees started a website requesting donations to help the store reopen, and people have already donated over $18,000. I think this is completely absurd. Why on earth should we donate money to help an owner who is either a tax evader or just too dumb to properly conduct his business? Sure Tosci's is tasty, but I'd rather support a business that is both tasty and run by intelligent people.

Here's a Boston Herald article: http://www.bostonherald.com/business/general/view.bg?articleid=1068414

new sMITe blog

2008-01-09T13:01:00.000-05:00

http://greatdayforultimate.blogspot.com/

Chicago

2008-01-08T14:32:00.000-05:00

I'm a liar if I ever say I'm going to write in this thing regularly.

Major life update: I'm moving to Chicago! Sometime this summer, I'll be moving to the great state of Illinois (...) to live with my hedge-fund working sugar daddy. I hope to play ultimate a lot and see Lori Eich a lot.

I Moved!

2007-09-06T18:34:00.000-05:00

August has been pretty busy, but now that things have settled down (and other things are gearing up) I have a really good feeling about the upcoming months.

Things settling down:
1. I moved! I left my awesome apartment with Jin to live in student housing on Bay State Rd. Don't worry, I gave Jin a new roommate to console her: Shuangy! Anyways, I traded in my nice private apartment with a 2 person bathroom and amazing kitchen to live in an old fraternity-converted-sorority-converted-random MIT student brownstone on the very BU end of Bay State road. The positives? I have a massive room (pictures will follow eventually), I pay only $500 a month (utilities/internet included...), and I get to live with my best friend Jess (the one female friend I have who does not play ultimate). I spent A LOT of time and energy setting up my room. I have beautiful "bicycle yellow" walls, plants, and an armchair to relax in. I really look forward to coming home and (so far) am actually productive; I think it's the armchair... I work so much better in a comfy chair than propped up in bed.

2. New job at the hospital. New job is no longer so new! I've been off orientation for about a month and a half, and I'm really starting to get comfortable. I feel like I'm doing a really good job, and my stress level has lowered immensely. And now that I have a regular schedule, I'm totally getting into a groove.

3. Brian. Is back from summer internship. Enough said ;o).

Things gearing up:
1. sMITe!!! I'm coaching again this year, with Jin! I spent basically all summer not thinking about ultimate (summer league doesn't count), and I was worried about getting back into things for the beginning of the season. All it took was watching 30 minutes of the reg day game for me to become totally giddy. We had a team meeting on Wednesday and started planning the season. Lots of returners, and some great new-but-experienced people coming in! Captains, by the way, are Daphne and Catherine, who I think will make an excellent combo. Doris and Karen are in charge of logistics. Others are "captains" of social activities, food, etc.

2. Lab. Things were pretty quiet and boring in lab over the summer, but now with the new semester starting things are really gearing up. First of all I'm moving up to 30 hrs/week, which gives me a grand total work week of 54 hours (24 at the hospital). On top of that will be coaching sMITe, of course. It's going to be a challenge, but I'm psyched about it. The reason I'm working more hours is because there's going to be A LOT more going on. We began a partnership with the Children's Museum, and I'm taking the lead on getting that project off the ground (after continuous summer delays), plus there are new grad students, plus we're taking on more UROPs, plus there's still our partnership with the Museum of Science to maintain, plus my research studies... Oye... Busy, but exciting!

And most importantly, now that my life is on a regular path again, I will have more time to write on this thing ;o)

A Match Made on Briggs

2007-08-09T19:55:00.000-05:00

Well sMITers, it finally happened. Our very own Karen Shu has finally done it; she said bye bye to random Northwestern boy and got herself some Bryan Ng! Looks like all of our Jazzfest heckling paid off ;o)

"It feels great" -- Karen

I live in central square

2007-07-30T23:57:00.001-05:00

11:38pm: Guy walks down the street screaming "you bitch, biiiiiiiitch, biiitch, you biiiiiiiiitch...."

12:57pm: Guy comes back from opposite directing screaming: "you bitch, you fucking whooooore, asshole bitch whoooooore"

This is why I shouldn't stay up late watching South Park reruns.

NYC

2007-07-23T10:10:00.000-05:00

Though overall I think it's a loud, dirty, and obnoxious city, there are good things about spending a weekend in New York:

1. Seeing Brian while he finishes his summer of being a finance asshole

2. The Natural History Museum
We must have spent two hours in the Hall of Planet Earth. Lori, geology totally rocks.

3. Drunk people on the street:
Guy One: "Dude, you can't fuckin' just piss on the street here -- this isn't Long Island!"
Guy Twp (peeing): "It's fuckin' wherever I want it to be"

4. The 5th Ave Apple Store (Open 24 hours!)
We stumbled across it around 1am and played with iphones. They're soooo ridiculously sexy

5. MoMA
We went to see an installation called Project 85. This dude Perjovschi spent a couple of days drawing political images with charcoal on the giant white wall in the atrium of the MoMA. I think what made it so awesome was the location and the scale of the project. Go here and watch the videos.

6. The bus ride
Yes, I said the bus ride. I caught up on old episodes of This American Life and All Songs Considered, and also listened to an audiobook of Bill Bryson's "A Short History of Nearly Everything". It's a surprisingly awesome book about the history of science. I highly recommend it.

Personality Awareness

2007-07-13T20:41:00.000-05:00

You know in job interviews and applications they sometimes ask you what x number of adjectives people would use to describe you? I think this could be interesting:

http://kevan.org/johari?name=strongame

Thanks to Kendra for the link!

"Hatshepsut was a fatty"

2007-07-13T14:55:00.000-05:00

My ever-growing admiration for the Discovery Channel (with awesome shows like Dirty Jobs, Man vs. Wild, and Mythbusters) has reached a new level with this article:

[Link]

Does anyone else find this hilarious?

Why I Love Family Guy

2007-07-12T20:09:00.000-05:00

I started re-watching Family Guy episodes as my bedtime stories. From the episode where Peter gets liposuction, said by the doctor (related to Cleveland):

"I'm like a Green Beret, you know, I sneak inside you, and I skulk around, like its Vietnam or something, an', and I'm sneaking through the bush, you know, and I get all the fat, like the fats' my buddies, stuck behind enemy lines, or something, you know, and when I got all my buddies, I sneak out again. I'm very mysterious when I'm inside you, you know, like a, uh, like the wind, you know."

amazing.

The Privileged Life

2007-07-09T16:38:00.000-05:00

So now I work part-time at a children's hospital as a mental health specialist in a residential school program, which basically entails chasing around "special" children for eight hours in a day. Each kid has a behavior plan, which is basically a system to track certain target behaviors (e.g. aggression, inappropriate statements, breaking things, etc) and responding in scripted ways (e.g. make them do a prescribed time-out, ignore, redirect). Most of it (especially with the younger kids) comes down to daycare... let's say extreme daycare.

Being at the school has widened my view of the world immensely. I've spent almost 5 years exclusively at MIT; only taking my summers off to work at a camp with future MIT students (at CTY). I have spent way too much of my life around privileged people; privileged with incredible intelligence, emotional stability, economic comfort, and a generally healthy, stable life. Of course there are plenty of exceptions, but I feel I can safely generalize the population as privileged.

The kids in my school are anything but privileged. They each have a grab-bag of problems/disorders (most have some combination of an autism-spectrum disorder, mental retardation, psychosis, OCD, ADHD, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, maybe a rare neurological disorder, and top it all off with a history of abuse and/or neglect leading to PTSD). Interacting with these kids and their families have reminded me that the world is much greater than the privileged minority. I am grateful that I was born with a healthy brain and above-average intellect. I am grateful that I had parents who nurtured and love me, and who were healthy and above-average intellect themselves. I'm grateful that my parents were sensible enough to take care of me, not abuse me, and not to friggin' smoke a cigarette in front of me while pregnant with another baby by another dad (something I witnessed the other day).

Finally, I'm grateful that programs like this exist. These kids cannot function in the "real" world (privileged or not). They need constant attention and support, and I'm happy to be a part of that. I do have hope that a setting like ours can help them to learn and grow and become more sensible, comfortable, and knowledgeable.

These are things I need to remember as I get hit, spit on, kicked, and verbally abused on a daily basis. And yes, I do already love these kids.

Jazzerific

2007-07-02T18:53:00.000-05:00

Jazzfest was amazing. sMITten is the best team on the planet, and we have hot jerseys. We lost in the finals to Storm, since we were completely out of juice, and they had gallons of it.

I got to re-live some highlights of my ultimate career, including:
- handling in zone with Shuang
- getting a point block as 0 in clam
- playing middle middle of the cup
- actually getting one or two deep D’s
- throwing hammers to Yelena who then hucked it for the score
- throwing lots of i-o flicks
- throwing lots of low release backhand swings
- backpedaling on D and having the handler I was guarding smash into me (and not get open)
- playing ultimate with the most amazing group of women in the world

It was nice to play in a tournament again after being ridiculously out of shape and having my body cooperate. Granted I can’t walk up or down stairs today, but that’s not unexpected even when I’m in shape :o). But in all seriousness, playing with sMITe again was the highlight of my year thusfar. I really miss the team; no other group that I've played with since has even come close to comparison. I heart sMITe. Big time.

Ohh!! Almost as exciting as the Jazzfest ultimate action was the drive up with Lori and JJ. We stopped to pee at a rest stop in Vermont, and I was browsing the attractions brochures and found one for the Magic Hat brewery. We all got very giddy and drove the 30 minutes to Burlington. The brewery looked like some crazy scary beer circus, complete with a floating head man in the tour video. The “tour” was mostly just a balcony above the floor where we could overlook the tanks and the bottling. We couldn’t hear the tour lady and so just spent awhile staring in awe at the bottling assembly line. Machines are so cool! We watched plain bottles get pushed on the line, get sanitized in an autoclave-type thing (we think), filled with beer, topped, cleaned, labeled, then dropped in boxes (which this cool box machine built up). Very neat. Oh, and we drank free beer.

After Magic Hat we went to Lori’s favorite chocolate factory (which was just about a mile away) and ate ice cream and bought chocolate (surprise surprise). Then it was about another mile or two to Lake Champlain where we bummed around and threw for awhile. We had dinner at a really tasty that served really tasty cheeses. We left quite content and impressed with ourselves for having such an awesome impulse-stop mini-day-trip.

Stuff that rocks

2007-04-22T17:48:00.000-05:00

1. sMITe beat BU 10-7!!! Regionals, here we come.

2. Saw Guster last night. In their encore there was a guest appearance by.... BOB SAGET. Fucking awesome.

Sectionals (Day Two)

2007-04-16T21:46:00.000-05:00

We ended up playing Harvard in the first game, and lost in a fairly matched battle. I thought the team played well - Harvard was just able to capitalize on our weaknesses (like transition defense).

Second game was Brandeis. We won, but it was closer than it should have been. The weather became more of a factor in this game (rainy and bitterly cold with wind picking up in the second half). I'm proud of the team for persevering through the conditions.

Winning the second game puts us in the 5th place game-to-go against BU, which was postponed due to the weather conditions. Kathy and I hugged when the TD told us (we were both pretty happy we didn't have to play shitty weather-determined ultimate against each other). I think I don't have a lot to say right now because it's not over... I can't reflect on things when we're hanging in the balance here. I'd say we're pretty evenly matched against BU; it's going to come down to who wants it more. I think we can get there.

On another note, the men WON sectionals!!! Major props to them.

Sectionals (Day One)

2007-04-14T20:05:00.000-05:00

It's the middle of Sectionals, and so far we've finished our pool to seed. We had two real games (Tufts and Wellesley) and three dumb games (BC, Wellesley B, Bentley). Though I know all you sports fans out there want detailed recaps, I just don't have it in me right now. I'm a little frustrated by how we've done so far. This team has TONS of talent and knows how to play with each other. We win as a team and we lose as a team. Unfortunately, we're too often at the losing end. The frustrating thing is that it doesn't matter who we're playing, what the weather is like, who we have in for a certain point, what O or D we're running... we're losing stupidly. We're dropping discs, misthrowing, and simply having too many silly errors. There's so much beautiful offense happening; we can work it all the way up the field, and then just fart on ourselves by the endzone. In zone we can swing it back and forth and back and forth and through the cup and back and forth... and then misthrow some dump or huck it when no one's cutting. Brain farts. Frisbee farts.

It's amazing watching these girls play. We're 20 million times the team we were in the fall, and we truly look like MIT Women's Ultimate. I can't come up with a good analogy right now, so I'll just compare it to the bread pudding I made last week. I made this delicious asparagus and olive bread putting that was mushy and crunchy and cheesy in all the right ways. During the baking process, I blended the spices into the milk and eggs before I cut up the asparagus and bread. Once I finally dumped it all in the bowl of liquids+spices, the spices had gathered towards the center, no longer homogeneously mixed. So in my final cooked delicious mushy crunchy cheesy bread pudding, every few bites was a bit too peppery and bitter. With sMITe, everything in the possession is beautifully thrown and caught and cut and cleared... until we bite the pepper.

Yes, that analogy sucked. I'm proud of this team, and everything they have learned this year. Granted this is my first year on the coaching side of things, but I don't know if sMITe has ever improved this much as a team in one year. In the end, the season record means almost nothing, but fucking a, I want to go to regionals. I want these girls to see the payoff of all their relentless work. It's fucking pay day.

Tomorrow we play BU first (I think). Wind aside, rain forecast aside, sMITe will work their asses off and play as a team. That I can guarantee. The rest is up to them.

I have just three words:

2007-03-12T23:20:00.001-05:00

I heart zone.

Yarrrr Matey

2007-03-10T16:26:00.000-05:00

Last night I went to a pirate party with Jin. I didn't know anyone there, but I still managed to be social and have a good time. I'm very proud of myself. I met a super drunk girl who decided I was her best friend for 5 minutes when she learned I was from western Mass. She had NO concept of personal space, and kept swaying back and forth talking an inch from my face... so close she kissed me on the cheek/forehead a couple of times. Luckily I escaped and found my beirut partner. Also, I was pretty amused by talking to drunk boys... there's something humorous about it when I have no intention of hooking up with them. I can't quite describe what I mean, but maybe it's like he's playing a game, and I know this, so I play a slightly different game just to annoy him. Drunk boys are fun to play with.

Other things in my life:
1. sMITe is practicing outdoors tomorrow. All you alums in the area should come scrimmage at 10:30am.
2. I started swimming again this week.
2.a. Despite the fact that I have not worked out for 2+ weeks and eat lots of cookies, I'm not gaining weight (probably just losing muscle).
3. Brian left for Japan to be in a CS competition. I'm lonely. And will do my taxes to pass the time.
4. Next weekend I get to party with high school friends (woohoo!)

I'm a kitchen gangsta (and I really must thank-ya)

2007-03-02T21:04:00.000-05:00

Paul is bored by my blog. Yes, I've disappeared for awhile. I've been wicked busy blah blah blah. Anywho, I'm here now, and I'm a bit drunkkity. I made Brian a fancy dinner to celebrate his offer from Goldman Sachs for the summer. And we had champagne. Or rather, I had most of the champagne, and he left to go play in his frat's beirut tournament. Why am I not there? I have to bring my grandmother to a bridal shower, which requires me waking up at 7:30am. Oh, and I haven't really slept this week.

But anywho, back to the dinner. Back to the dinner because it shows why I would make a fucking amazing housewife. First of all, I can cook fancy dinners like this one: Baked salmon covered in a sauce of garlic and fresh dill, wild rice, beans with rice vinegar, dill, red pepper, and garlic, and champagne. Secondly, I'm clean (relatively). Thirdly, I make kickass desserts - last week I made an apple pie from scratch. And by scratch I mean I busted out my rolling pin and everything. If ludacris is a bedroom gangsta, I'm the kitchen gangsta (come on... moneymaker is a FANTASTIC song).

Uh, that's it for now. I vow to become more regular in my blogging. I miss you smiters (and wannabe smiters).

one fish two fish

2006-12-27T21:37:00.001-05:00

I was swimming laps in the Z center today, and randomly thought that it was strange how we swim in a counter-clockwise circle when sharing a lane (up on the right, back on the left). Then I realized that's also how cars in the US drive. And it seemed all backwards, since lots of other stuff goes clockwise, such as turning a screw, or a doorknob, or turning up the volume on my ipod. Anyways, it made me think that maybe British people have it right with driving on the left.

I think about stupid things while I swim.

Oh, and question for Laura (and anyone else really). What is proper kicking technique? I've realized I kick in two different ways: a) keep my legs essentially straight, using my hips to scissor the legs up and down, and b) bend my legs and kick/pedal in a bicycle-type motion. I'd email Laura, but I'm too lazy, so I'm hoping that she (and anyone else who knows better than me) will just read this and comment ;o)

Reflection

2006-12-10T22:15:00.000-05:00

Miller sent out an email to everyone on Slow gauging interest to play with the team next year. I wanted to post my response for all of you to read, since I'm sure some of you are curious to hear something at least semi-coherent about my feelings from this season. I think this is about as good of an explanation as I'll ever be able to give.

We were asked to rate our desire to return on a scale of one to ten:
Basic guidelines (pick any number 1-10):

1- I don't want to return... F. yo couch
...
5 - I want to return, but I'm considering other options.
...
10 - I definitely want to return next season.

And here's my response to Miller and Kris:

I'm going to put myself at an even 5. I felt very conflicted at the end of the season, and I'm still just as conflicted now, so I'm betting this email will come out less than coherent.

I think there are a few important factors contributing to my mixed feelings: 1. I came to this team not knowing anyone as more than an acquaintance. By the end I feel like I made some friends, but really didn't get into the level that I think the majority of people on this team possess: utter commitment and devotion to each other. I think the social bonds on this team are one of the main reasons why we're so strong on the field. Personally, it takes a long time and lots of experiences for me to get to that level with people. My short season with Slow wasn't enough to fill that requirement. That doesn't mean I think it's impossible to ever get there... it's just hard coming into a group that already has that bond from years of experience with each other.

2. Actually playing ultimate. Spring of '06 I played some of the best ultimate of my life. Fall of '06 I hit a lull. I think that was noticed towards the beginning of the series, and my playing time
dipped. This only lowered my confidence, and thus it was hard for me to improve and snap out of the funk. I tried kicking my own ass into gear, but felt like the "trust" wasn't there from the team. Needless to say I had a lot running through my head at each tournament in the late season, and this affected my training, play, and socialness.

3. Role. I never really figured out what my role was on the field. I don't think you guys figured that out either. So I was often quite lost on offense, feeling like I was just jogging up the field when we ran spread, and often just trying to get out of Miller's way. I think a lot of this is a result of simply not having enough experience playing with the team. More experience = more knowledge = more confidence = better play. I often gave myself little "roles" in games... like shutting down a handler on defense, or throwing at least one good i-o break in the game. This way, I had something to reflect on for myself.

4. Very related to the "role" point is expectations. Especially as the season went on, I had no clue what the team expected of me or wanted of me. I didn't know where I fit with this team, or what the team wanted from me. This is a team of superstars who make superstar plays. It's really exciting to be a part of, but I know that I am not a superstar. I'm perfectly happy with that - I know I'm a solid, smart player. That's how I play, and that's how I enjoy the game. And
frankly, a team cannot function with 20 superstars; there need to be other roles. I see myself as a supporter and I am perfectly comfortable working in that capacity.

I realize that I should have been better about communicating my thoughts with you guys. I suppose one of my personality flaws is that I don't like to appear weak/vulnerable, and sharing my insecurities about my place on the team was too embarrassing for me. I also just didn't want to send negative vibes out in the important times of the season (i.e. Regionals and Nationals). People had more than enough on their plates without dealing with me, and I felt sharing my thoughts would only be detrimental. So I did what I thought was best for the team and hid my feelings as best I could and spent my energies screaming on the sideline.

After nationals I spent a good three weeks avoiding thinking about ultimate (besides my coaching obligations). Of course I didn't succeed, but I think I did enough to emotionally recover and come to peace with myself. I really have no idea if I want to come back or not. For summer and spring, my plan is to play as much ultimate as possible. I will play summer league, play with Slow if I can, and attend coed and women's tryouts. In the end, I'll go with what feels the best. Oh, and as for location I will be in Boston next year.

I would love to hear your perspectives on my place with Slow this season. And I apologize for not opening up to you sooner about all of this.

2006-12-06T23:14:00.000-05:00

My sambas are dying. the inside of the heels is all worn away, and the sole is totally worn down - the gel inserts I bought aren't even helping anymore. Sigh, I guess they've lived a good life (at least 4 years of wear).

sMITe practice went well tonight. We had low numbers, but I suppose that's to be expected at this point in the semester. We focused on catching and throwing - the very basics. I was the thrower in the catching drill at the beginning of practice. It was basically one line, first person runs towards the thrower and catches the disc. We did this for quite awhile and there were some definite improvements in terms of running through the disc. For me, it was a fantastic workout: bend, pick up disc, step and throw accurately, repeat immediately. I think a throwing + catching drill could be formed out of the idea - have the stationary thrower throw to the catcher, then the catcher throws it right back, clears, and the next cutter comes right away. It keeps the thrower moving at a very fast pace. Throwers could rotate every couple iterations of the cutter line.

Tomorrow is the first day of prehab in core performance! That means only one more day till lifting! I'll have to figure out my schedule for Friday - I have work 8am-12pm, then I'm giving a mini-talk at the museum of science, and I need to meet with Laura about UROPS. Thomas, Chris (and some other dude) are heading down to CT for the Bridgewater christmas party around 3 or 4, so maybe I'll have to lift in the morning before work... hmmm... well, I had to work at 6am on Wednesday and Thursday, so I guess that wouldn't be so different.

core performance

2006-12-04T01:32:00.000-05:00

For those of you feeling nostalgic (or just fat and out of shape), sMITe is starting the core performance workouts tomorrow and you should join us! I know I still have all of my old packets...

Come on, you know it'll be motivating to get to the gym if you think of all these newbies balancing on colored balls in the z center right there along with you...

Personally, I'm excited to get off of my lazy butt.

Black Friday

2006-11-25T02:38:00.000-05:00

Today was totally not as crazy as I thought it would be. Maybe it's because J. Crew didn't have insane sales, but it was a lot like a typical Saturday, other than the fact that there were as many people milling around the store at 8am than a normal 6pm. Nothing unbearable, though. Best Buy apparently had a line around the entire second floor of the mall at 5:45am, which is absurd. They were our nemesis throughout the day, because *every* Best Buy bag that came through our doors set off the alarms. Sure they're busy, but come on Best Buy, learn to deactivate your sensors. I was on fire with harassing people for emails/credit card signups, so the store manager told me to pick out a free belt - totally sweet. I think it's awesome that they reward people when they go above and beyond. I don't know what other retailers do, so I have no comparison, but overall J. Crew has rocked my socks as an employer. Accommodating, understanding, smart, motivating and well-run overall. Go team.

I'm reading Society of the Mind by Minsky, which is something that's been on my list for years. He describes the mind as an agency of components that are themselves unintelligent (think binary switch type). The concept of breaking down the complex into its more manageable components is not exactly a new idea, but I'm appreciating the way he applies it to the subject. I'm coming up with new questions and concerns with every page, but I'm only on page 27, and hey, that's what a good book is supposed to do.
In the section I just read he talked about subjective and objective parts and wholes - for example: "What makes a drawing more than a set of lines?" versus "What makes a chain more than its links?" The second one is much easier for us to define and describe, because we can describe it by how its components interact. The first is difficult, because our individual minds are one of the components involved. Minsky is basically making the point that the mind is not a confound, but another (much more complex) objective factor - we simply don't understand exactly how it works. That first question is fascinating to me, precisely because the eluding factor is the mind, and I am fascinated about how it works. This book is going to be awesome for me.

Fat and Lazy

2006-11-20T02:47:00.000-05:00

I haven't posted in a long time. All I did last week was work... and sleep... I didn't even go to the gym at all. I did eat lots of trans-fatty foods, though, so I guess it all evens out in the end.

I got to see Cathy Chu this weekend! Chu, Dorphne, Melissa, Liver and I had lunch at Penang. We also had really good boba (the smoothies were made with real fruit, which I've never seen in a boba place!). Then we walked up to the park and saw a protest (Iraq, of course) that had more police than protestors... seriously, the entire Boston fleet must have been out for this thing. There were vans and cruisers and motorcycles and even bike cops. It was quite an elaborate operation for no more than 50 protesters.

I'm a good citizen

2006-11-07T14:27:00.000-05:00

I voted today, which made me feel all warm and fuzzy. The election workers in Kresge were terrible - both at check-in and check-out I had to find my own name on the sheets because the deaf old women couldn't figure out how to read. Also, they didn't check my ID which REALLY weirded me out. I wonder how bad other locations are, and how much voter fraud results.

I voted for Deval Patrick for Governor because I liked the way he campaigned - not a lot of blatant bullshit. Kerry Healy, on the other hand, seems like a total bitch. I also like Patrick's stance on education more. Healy has a plan to put cops in public schools and that scares me a whole whole lot. Putting in officers will only foster an environment where kids are shown that they can't be trusted and it will only expand the notion that they should act like criminals because hey, that's what we expect of them. Students change and grow based on trust, respect, and high expectations. I guess Healy wants to destroy all three of those factors.

Working from home today because I can.

Season's Over

2006-11-01T23:25:00.000-05:00

For the first time in four years, I'm really done with ultimate for awhile... my season is over. In college I always has fall, winter, spring non-stop MIT ultimate action, with summers of pickup and throwing at CTY. Now Nationals is over, and I have no team until next summer. The big question is who will that team be? Will I try to stay with Slow? Will I go elsewhere in coed? Will I go to women's? I'm really not sure. I don't know if Slow wants to keep me, and I don't know if it's best for both sides for me to stay. Right now what I really want to do is put it all out of my mind for a few months. I will be working hard these next couple weeks to get ultimate off of my brain and focus my energies elsewhere.

That said, I'll give a brief recap of Nationals. Yelena and Lori and Erika have posted detailed accounts of their accomplishments, but I don't feel like typing out a play-by-play. Instead I'll share a few highlights:

- Totally shutting some stupid girl down on dump (she tried to get open for at least 4-5 stalls and then had to clear out)
- Not letting Lauren Casey break me
- Mooning Lori's car while stuck in traffic (we opened the van door so I could stick my bare ass out)
- Cooking and lounging at dinners with Slow
- Throwing against RIDICULOUS wind on the beach Saturday afternoon
- White powder sand
- Rubbing sunblock on Kevin A's back and then sitting on his lap on Sunday (note: not actually a highlight, but included to make Yelena extremely jealous)
- Running my ass off as point in the cup in the finals.
- Hugging Lori and crying after the finals
- All the sMITe reunioning

Speaking of sMITe, who has a copy of the picture we took? I desperately want it :o). Overall, Nationals was an amazing experience. I am physically okay besides some knee trouble, but mentally and emotionally drained. Once I get myself back up to full speed, I'm looking forward to spending much more time reading, researching, and in lab. I found out Fei Xu (cognitive scientist who is sort of an inspiration to me) may be in town at the end of this week, which would be totally sweet.

Don't fret, reader, this blog won't become all about boring science stuff. I'll still have things to report about the sMITe season. We had our first indoor practice tonight (Fucking daylight savings), focusing on marking. I saw some great improvement, but as with everything I know we're going to have to keep revisiting the basics: stay centered, on your toes, knees bent, arms out, don't bite. sMITe's tradition of solid marks and shut-down defense will continue if I have anything to say about it ;o). At the end of practice we did James drill, which served as a reminder that we need to CONSTANTLY work on the basics of running, catching, throwing. After we ended I made Eva stay back with me to work on running through the disc (she didn't run through once during the drill). I instructed her to run faster when the disc went up, and called that to her as I threw it. It worked a bit... till the disc was about a foot away from her and then she'd stop to catch it. I finally told her to keep running as she caught the disc; so run, run faster, catch, keep running faster. She got it by the end, which was great, but I have a feeling we're going to have to keep working on that. I think next practice we'll do the grr drill with the D one step behind. I think I'm going to include at least two very basic drills at the beginning of each practice - something to get the team running, catching, and throwing.

I'm also starting to lift again, so I'm sure I'll report on that as well. Tonight was upper body - benching felt AMAZING. I really enjoy lifting, and am excited to get back into a routine. Also I really like showering at the Z Center :o). The water pressure in the locker room is really good now, and I love not having to worry about the gas bill in terms of my time/temperature. I am so not looking forward to paying heating bills in the winter... at least I'll still have a way to enjoy hot, steamy showers!

woohoo. Go team.

I'm going to fucking nationals

2006-10-24T13:49:00.000-05:00

tomorrow.

To follow the action obsessively go here:
http://www.scoreomatic.com/UPA-CLUB

Check out the Slow White player profiles that Miller wrote. HI-liarious.

sMITe Went to the Party!

2006-10-23T17:26:00.000-05:00

You read correctly, my friends. The previous party record of 15 minutes (set 2 or 3 years ago at Purple Valley) was SMASHED this weekend at the 2006 Purple Valley holiday-themed party. When we got there the party was full and an anal security guard was keeping out the waiting crowd of fashionably late people. So all of us (yes, the whole team!) waited for awhile. Catherine snuck in by convincing the security guard that she lived there. Jenny (newbie grad student), Alicia (sMITe alum from years ago) and I snuck in a window. The others hung outside for awhile, but decided to go home when they realized getting in legitimately would be fruitless.

The party was very hot and crowded as usual. Our holiday was Patriots Day, so we just wore red white and blue and had American Flags. I was there with the mission to make MIT's mark on the party. So I walked around with a red sharpie and wrote "Yay America" or "Go USA!" and "Love MIT" on random people. I think I hit about 20-30 people, so that was a success. I also handed out condoms that had the same message written on the back. Safe sex is a matter of national security, after all.

As far as the tournament goes, I was very impressed with how much the team improved over the course of the weekend. I'm a firm believer that tournaments are where a player really learns how to play. I also learned a lot about coaching over the course of the weekend. I had some good moments of explaining things to the team or to individuals and watching them improve in the next point. There were a couple of fun moments in the Wellesley game, like when I told the line to leave Doris as a deep poach off the pull to counter Wellesley's oh-so-obvious huck it off the pull play, and then they threw it to her (twice, I think). Also telling a mark to shift, and then watching her get a handblock. I think I also did a decent job of teaching the team zone O, and especially in the Wellesley game working to counter their tricky cup that covers the off-handler.

I played pretty well on Saturday, going in for a few points here and there to just get some more playing in before Nationals. I had a lot of fun covering Liz from Godiva (Dartmouth alum now playing with Yale) and did a good job of defending her. In the Northeastern game I made it a point to go in and cover their primary handler after I noticed that she was always marking up against our newbies so that she could throw her i-o break and do what she wanted. I thought that was pretty shitty, so I went in and shut her down (she couldn't get open on the dump and never broke me). I just think it's dumb for someone like her to not challenge herself. I like marking up against good players - they make me work and get better. Yeah I could mark up on new players all the time and throw to anywhere on the field, but that's not going to help me (or them too much for that matter).

The shitty thing I did this weekend was get injured. I went up to D a long throw in the Northeastern game and landed with my knee lock. Lots of crunching on the landing, and lots of pain. Right now it's just really swollen, but I think I'm going to be ok in a couple of days. I'm icing and elevating and taking LOTS of ibproufen. I'm not making a big deal of this because number one I can't handle the thought of being injured right now, and number two it really feels like it's just regular old swelling with nothing weird and crazy going on. So if I take care of that, I should be ok as long as I warm up well and wear a brace. I'm very optimistic. I'm going to kick ass in Sarasota. There's really no other option here.

And as a last thought, Cathy Chu is my ultimate hero. I had a fairly crappy and dreary day, but then I got home and there was a package with banana bread! So so happy :o).

"You're straight like a freeway"

2006-10-18T19:55:00.000-05:00

Sometimes South Park is just brilliant. Well, let me rephrase that: sometimes South Park has brilliant moments, and sometimes they're just silly. I watched an old episode tonight while eating my pineapple peanut stew (mmmmm Moosewood cookbook), which was all about the men and boys turning metrosexual (making fun of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy). Of course they take it to the ultra extreme, but that's what makes South Park awesome: they make fun of *everything* to the most ridiculous degree. It got me thinking a bit about what kind of guys I'm attracted to. I like guys who are put together well: dress decently, don't smell gross, and have some manners. These are real specific requirements, I know, but at MIT you'd be surprised... Or I guess all the readers of this blog wouldn't... Anywho, on top of that he can't be afraid to get a little dirty: he needs to be manly (more aggressive and stronger than me), and not afraid to wrestle around both physically and verbally.

I guess this is why Thomas is awesome - he fits these requirements to a T. He dresses better than I do, is strong minded and bodied (he can totally beat me up, but still gives me a fair chance when we wrestle), and challenges me to be a better person. I think that last one is the key: when I'm around him I want to be better - I want to work harder, look nicer, and think deeper. I think that's something that died down in me with Brian... whether that was my own fault, or his, or both, I can't say... but I stopped feeling challenged. My best relationships (platonic and romantic) are the ones that keep pushing me.

Oh, and to talk about ultimate (since I can't not talk about ultimate), I practiced with sMITe today, since Nancy and Nurit came out to run a clinic. It felt good to just focus on the basics: cutting, throwing, catching. I'm also going to head up to Purple Valley this weekend with the team. I was going to take the weekend off to hang out with Thomas, but he doesn't have much time to hang out. I don't know how much I'll play versus how much I'll coach, but I certainly won't push myself to the point of ultra-soreness. After all, after PV it will be only 3 more days till Sarasota ;o).

7 days and counting...

The Life of a Rockstar

2006-10-15T14:57:00.000-05:00

So I'm chalking a lot of that last post up to pms. Yeah things have been iffy on the field for me, but there's no good reason for me to be that whiny about it. Practice this weekend went really well - I played decently, even while ridiculously hung over on Sunday. I even cut deep and got the pass! I then threw the score to Greytak - wooo MIT connection. Partying last night was good - there were really only 6 of us partying with the Roger Williams guys, but we made it a good time. I did somehow manage to lose my watch and left contact lens, but what can you do.

I feel pumped for Nationals, and will be working my ass off for the next week and a half. I'm psyched for the smite reunion - Lori, Yelena, Nancy, Meryl, Dobsons, Ali, Erika, and of course my Shuang. Seriously, with a lineup like that we should quit our respective teams and go kick everyone's ass and win the women's division.

In liu of doing anything else productive today, I'm going to watch "Lost in Translation."

An Existential Ultimate Crisis

2006-10-12T20:05:00.000-05:00

My head's been a mess the past few weeks, and I think I just need to get it all out. I've been feeling lame on a number of levels, and I think a lot of it stems from ultimate. Slow is awesome. Really, really awesome... I'm just not feeling like a real part of the team.

The feeling's been getting worse all season as I feel less effective and in turn have less playing time. I usually play D, which I'm still effective enough at - I can get beat deep by the fast girls, so I do a decent job forcing people in. Most of the time my girl doesn't get the disc, and that's a victory for me - that's the shut-down, no-frills D I was taught and is what I still live by. Nothing fancy, no flashy layout D's, just containing, backpedaling, and smothering. Once we get the turn, I'd say I do absolutely nothing. I can't count the points I've simply jogged up the field, trying to figure out where to go. What I can count (on one hand) is the number of times I touch the disc in a game. So most of the time I just tell myself "stop being such a pussy and go get the disc - be aggressive." That's not so easy to do when I'm only in for a couple of points and spend most of my time trying to get out of the way of the primary handler.

Maybe I do need more confidence out there. Or maybe I just need to find my place.
I feel like a fraud, like I haven't earned anything for the team this season. I feel lost. We have practice this weekend, a free weekend, and then Sarasota. I hate that I'm feeling this way about ultimate. I hate feeling insecure. I hate that the season's almost over, and I actually do want it to end.

I'm trying to keep my attitude up, and I will work my ass off this weekend. What will come of that is up in the air.

Inspiration

2006-10-03T20:43:00.000-05:00

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
-- coach carter (movie)

Being perfect is not about that scoreboard out there. It's not about winning. It's about you and your relationship with yourself, your family and your friends. Being perfect is about being able to look your friends in the eye and know that you didnt let them down because you told them the truth. And that truth is you did everything you could. There wasnt one more thing you could've done. Can you live in that moment as best you can, with clear eyes, and love in your heart, with joy in your heart?
-- friday night lights (movie)

Again!
-- miracle

the mark of strength, and of great teams isn't how they do when they are winning, it is how they handle adversity.
-- bill rodriguez

Champions attack - they never protect.
--nancy sun

you *are* an awesome handler. know that, believe that, feel that. i will cut break for you all day long :)
-- kendra

Winners win.
No excuses, play like a champion.
No fucking quail.
I love stuff.
warriors come out to play.
-- slow

Long day

2006-10-02T22:39:00.000-05:00

I had a really long day today: Up at 6:45, at J. Crew by 8, to lab by 12:30, to the museum for testing, back to lab, to smite practice at 4:45, to the zcenter for some short intervals/lifting, then back to lab from 8pm-11pm... No breaks all day, and my lab time this evening was totally wasted. We're working on our first infant experiment, and I have built two dominoes formations: Y's that knock from either end yielding two causes with one effect or one cause with two effects. We show the babies the stimuli through video, and yours truly is doing all of the filming. I never realized how difficult it is to film perfectly. Every clip has to look identical to every other clip in terms of the dominoes positioning, the occluder positioning, the speed of the action, the movement of the occluder, etc... I was hoping to get the final filming completed tonight for this big meeting we have tomorrow. When I went to back up the tape, I noticed 5 mistakes before I got halfway through, got pissed, and decided to go home. Wasting the last three hours of my day just put a shadow over the whole thing...

Tomorrow should be better - I don't have to go in to J. Crew until 9, won't have to haul myself out to the museum, and might even get home before 10pm.

Since Regionals is coming up, I'm going to be partipating more in sMITe practices this week. I basically need the opportunity for more catching + throwing, and since I'll be with an ultimate team three days this week I may as well take advantage. I am worried about not coaching as effectively when I'm on the field more, but it does give me the chance for some more individual feedback (like during scrimmages). I'm also going to get to the gym every day. Tomorrow I'll do a longer jog/swim, Wednesday will be stairs (maybe green building?), Thursday some short sprint work, then a light jog or swim on Friday. I think I'll feel good coming into Regionals, as long as my 4+ week cold remains at its current level.

Apparently people actually use these things

2006-10-01T22:16:00.000-05:00

So being the very productive person that I am, I was dicking around on the internet tonight, spying in people's blogs and realized there's a whole network of awesome people that used to be in my immediate life who now live in exotic locations (i.e. not-boston) and are all connected through the magical-awesome wonder of the internet! I want in. So I'm going to give in to this blog craze and tell you all about my life, and hopefully get to read much more about you all.

Darlene's life, in a nutshell, consists of the following:
1. Ultimate
a. Slow White
b. sMITe
2. Work
a. ECCL lab
b. J. Crew
3. Uh... that's about it till the season's over

1.a. Slow White: I fucking love this team. Their motto "play like you party" couldn't be more appropriate. I'm very psyched to have made the team. I feel a little crappy about my playing over the past month - I've been pretty inconsistent and hesitant. It's been hard for me to get used to the loose style, and the fact that I'm not practicing/ drilling 3 times a week. Going from the sMITe rigid regime to the Slow party regime is quite an adjustment. I'm nervous about Regionals, but also very excited. My goal for the weekend is to be much more aggressive on offense - I spend a lot of time getting out of the way of Miller or Jasper, when I need to have more confidence and remember that I'm a pretty damn good handler and can move the disc wherever I want (especially on coed marks... so easy to break!)

1.b. sMITe: I'm coaching for the fall! It's been fun so far. We have some promising players. Overall I'd say it looks like the past 4 sMITe fall seasons I've seen. Everyone's working really hard, and I'm actually getting used to explaining the concepts. I'd say half of my energy is put into teaching, and the other half into positive reinforcement. Thomas came out to a scrimmage and was laughing at me for yelling so many positive things. I tried to explain to him the difference between a men's southern high school football team and a women's college (beginner) ultimate frisbee team, but he didn't quite get it. The girls are doing really well, though.

2.a. ECCL Lab: Lab's been good - I'm still getting used to the environment, and Laura's working style. Projects of varying priority are just sort of thrown at me, so I have to be very organized (which really isn't much of a problem for me). I do still wish that the position was full time. I'd rather not have to tie down my schedule with job #2... I like having a more flexible schedule, but right now with work and practice and working out I have little leeway in terms of how I divide my time. It's all working out decently, and I think will be a lot better after the fall season is over.

2.b. J Crew: Yes, I work at J. Crew... not that surprising for me, really. I actually like the job a lot! I work mornings 8am-12pm, doing cleaning/folding/moving stuff around until opening and then sales and cashiering till 12. It's a good job for me because it forces me to be happy, pleasant, and social. I usually leave work in a cheery mood, so it's a nice way to start the day. Plus I have a killer discount.

3. I revise my "that's about it till the season's over" - #3 would definitely belong to Thomas. Yes, I broke up with Brian and now have a new boyfriend. I ended things with Brian over the summer. Short story is that I love him, but couldn't say right now that I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I'm 22, and I'm not ready to shut out all other options at this age. My sister picks on me because she thinks I'm ridiculous and always have a boyfriend, though she thinks I'm ridiculous for just about everything I do. Thomas and I have been friends for awhile. He was actually one of my advisees when I was an associate advisor sophomore year, so we've been acquainted for a long time. He's a little ridiculous himself, but that's one of the main things I like about him. I'd say he's the most "manly" guy I've dated. He's a big football player build (played in high school), into cars and beer and liquor and other manly things, but also loves J. Crew and Sex and the City. We have a great time, and he makes me happy.

I guess those are the big points. I'll try to update this fairly frequently. And tell interesting stories.